


Zoids dysfunctional families

by Wingshad0w



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-06-21
Updated: 2008-09-10
Packaged: 2013-11-21 19:52:48
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,997
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3607700/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1012525/Wingshad0w
Summary: The intertwined sagas of the blitz team and team ryu as their 'families' prepare for their match against each other. Chapter 4 is up, VS. Naomi Fluegel and Layon toros, duel of the blade ligers!





	1. Chapter 1

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two zoids 'families'

Disclaimer – not mine

BUT – the whole team ryu **is** mine!

Um in general this story is a comparison of the dysfunctional lives of team ryu and the blitz team in the S-class. And how team ryu has to deal with the menaces of the blitz team in order to verse the blitz team.

-Begin-

Jamie got up today, early as always. This was no different from any other day. He started his own breakfast and then sat down and started up his computer. "Hey some new e-mail! 'Do you want 1 million dollars?' No, I don't. '&(&( FV GH.' Huh. What mail is that? 'Dear s-rank n00bs. We challenge you.' Um I don't like the n00b part but this is worth reading. After all it is from the IZF." Jamie read his mail. This was a challenge it was from team ryu, the fourth highest ranked team in S-class. Also the last team to enter the s-class, and the only one in twenty years to do it solely from winning enough battles to do so. "Okay three weeks from now, area 452, directions are included and it'll be a four on four."

Brad was awake and drinking coffee. Lot's of coffee. "I see we got a challenge." He said as he looked at Jamie's e-mail. "Team Ryu. Oh yeah I know that team. Now the thing is I can't remember why I do."

Jamie looked at the bottom of the page, there was an add for the IZF, god knows what the IZF could advertise in a challenge e-mail. There were also two other links. One led to the IZF's statistics and match replay page, the other led to team ryu's official webpage. "These are handy." Said Jamie as he book marked the official team page website. On actually the opening page. It contained a picture of the team and profiles of each member underneath. On the left was a girl. Her name was listed as Sylvia noventa. Her age was listed as 22, height as five foot nine, hair, brunette, blood type, it was blank. She wore all white clothing, a loose jacket that only covered her arms. Her shirt was similar to that of Mai valentines from yu-gi-oh. She was wearing short shorts and Jamie had to pause and look at her. Her zoid was listed as storm sworder. "Wow." Was all he said. Next was an old man. His name was just Doc. His hair was listed as white. His height was five foot six. Blood type was again blank. He wore a lab coat and had a fat looking face. In the picture he was giving V for victory symbol. "Ah old man." Was Jamie's response. Next was a father son looking situation with a 'father' on top of a 'kid'. The father's name listed was Tom Reynolds, with the words 'black dragon' in parentheses. His height was a monstrous six foot four. His hair was listed brown. Again blood type was not identified. "What's up with listing blood type if they won't identify it…?"

His zoid was the shadow fox. "Shadow fox. Strange I guess there must be more than one."

At that point Doc toros walked in. "I see we got a challenge." He said looking at the printed piece of paper. "Hmm. The black dragon, heard he has over 2,000 solo wins and not a single solo match loss on his record."

"WHAT!!!" Shouted Jamie, "That's more wins than Vega had! I guess we'll need to be careful in battle against him. Okay. Next is the kid."

The kid's listed name was reddy. He wore a brown vest over his reddler colored clothing. Height, 5'6" hair color brown. Blood type, still not there. His zoids were, reddler, raynos, zabat, just about any flying zoid was there. And last was a brad like person. Similar in height dress and appearance just overall. His zoid was a blade liger and a gunsniper. "This guy looks like brad. Hey brad do you have any siblings or cousins or anything of the like?"

"Yeah, so what?" Brad walked over to Jamie because he had a strange feeling that whatever the reason for questioning it had to do with that screen.

"I think our next battle will involve a relation of yours." Jamie turned the screen to face brad.

Brad looked at it for a moment. "Hold on. Need more coffee." Everyone looked at brad with a sweat drop for a moment. After downing another cup, or three, "Oh yeah I think I remember him. He's my third cousin or something. Not a real close relation."

"Not to sure of yourself are you." Said Jamie.

"What can I say I've got a big family." Brad muttered as he went to pour another cup of coffee.

"Brad likes his coffee." Jamie sighed as he went back to checking out the various pages on the sites, copying pilot statistics and zoid stats. He got to Sylvia's page in perfect synch with Lena's arrival right behind him facing the screen.

"Who is that bimbo?" Lena asked. "Does our little Jamie have certain interests we don't know about?" She grew an evil smile.

"It's research…"

"DIE!!!" Lena pounded Jamie into the ground.

"Man Lena can be a bitch sometimes." Bit said without thinking, or looking. And continued doing neither until he got pounded into the ground.

"Lena." Brad said as he drank more coffee. "Jamie was doing research. That was a team website with stats and team member pictures. My money is on the girl there is just that way with her life."

"And besides that," Added doc toros, "They're our next opponents and the fourth highest ranked team in s class. We really need these notes."

A few minutes passed. Finally Jamie woke up with Lena shaking him, his first words were, "Don't eat my soul Richard D. James!!! Huh nothing here has had its faced altered. I'm safe."

"Good." Lena said, "Now research."

Jamie turned around, used bit for a seat, and got back to the research. "You see this girl. She pilots a storm sworder, but has been known to use a gojulas on other teams, and used a di-bison, and standard model gunsniper on this team. Now comes the team captain." Jamie skipped to the stats copied and printed them. Doc toros took a look.

"These don't match up with this guy's record. Nor does the zoid for that matter. Heck even his name has been changed. But still by this picture I have to assume it's him. Physically they are almost identical. I don't completely understand it." Toros was stumped. "This is the man that is supposed to have over two thousand solo wins, how can he only have 561 by this record. With only one solo too, it's going to drive me insane."

"This might explain it." Jamie said as more pages were printed. Jamie's face was in pure shock/amazement.

Toros flipped to the final two pages discarding the rest. Brad, bit, and Lena got at the rest. They quickly adopted the shocked Jamie facial expression. "Ah so this black dragon fellow is the real man with 2000 wins. But why is he in a different page than Tom?" Toros looked at the screen and saw why immediately. "Oh, I see."

The text read, "This is the only picture of the black dragon in existence. We were unable to get him to pose for team photos." The picture showed a man of Tom's exact physical stature shooting pure black flames out of his arms while holding off an iron Kong with a strange black energy coming out of his other arm.

The dragon's personal message was, "I never loose, to anyone or anything."

-Meanwhile in the base of team ryu, about an hour later-

"Alright now I have to go access the damn security feed to find out just how late Sylvia was in coming home from her party." Tom was furious looking as he scanned the monitors and the tapes from the night before, starting at 10pm and then running a motion scan, to show opening stills of each motion event that occurred that night. "What the hell! Sylvia doesn't show up once. This could be bad."

"Worse than any of the other million times she's been out all night and come back to the base as drunk as can be?" Reddy the little kid spoke up.

"Yes, because we have a match at one, I was hoping she was home and asleep. I could have her fully awake when we arrive, but no she's out alone in the world asleep and was wasted at some point too to boot. Damn it!" Tom put his head in his hand.

Then entered the brad-a-like named Henry hunter. He took one look at Tom and said, "Sylvia not back yet?"

Reddy chuckled, "Exactly."

"Whatever. I'm getting some more coffee."

Then doc appeared. "I believe I found her."

"You did!!!" Shouted Tom.

"Yes I found her." Doc then pulled a kitty out from behind his back. "I was missing my precious Garfield. Found her while I was looking for the other her I found last night. She really needs a bath."  
Entered Sylvia in the clothes she was wearing on the webpage. Save there was mud all over them and she had garbage in her hair. "I think I got half the party pissed off at me to have this happen." She was very drowsy and she rubbed her eyes while talking.

"Shower." Tom said sternly.

"Righto boss man." Sylvia walked off Tom sighed in exasperation.

"When will she stop?" He groaned as he slumped.

"Don't you mean when will she learn?" Asked reddy as he opened up a wafer thin laptop and got ready to play an RTS on it.

"No smart ass." Tom groaned, "I'm pretty sure she's learned by now, especially, I hope, after tonight. But when she'll stop being such a freaking moron is beyond me." Tom put his head down on the monitor controls.

"Hey it's why I exist."

"To do what exactly?" Asked Henry.

"To be a smart ass."

Tom turned his head over, "What did the dragon see in you is something I will always wonder. And why did I pick some of the weirdest whacko's to be on my team besides reddy is a mystery no-one could ever solve."

"Wacko?" Said Henry and Doc at the same time, "You're the weirdest one of all."

Tom flipped his head away from them, the back of his neck turned black, "DON'T YOU CALL ME WEIRD!!!" He said rapidly in a possessed voice. When he turned back over he seemed normal.

Henry went back to his coffee and Doc started to pet Garfield. Both whistled. "Well anyway," doc said after a decent pause, "It'll take us an hour to arrive so we've got about two hours to get ready." Doc looked around, "Oh yeah, save Sylvia we're ready."

-1pm that same day-

In the middle of a flat sandy desert a storm sworder, reddler, and shadow fox were lined up against an iron Kong, a gojulas and a saber tiger.

The reddler pilot began talking, "You know Tom I could have sworn you were cheating when you played me in the game."

Tom smirked, "Come on reddy you're just jealous, you know cheating is impossible for online multiplayer in that game. Unless you have the hacking skills of doc."

In team ryu's enormous modified whale king carrier doc just made the thumbs up sign to Henry as he spoke, "Damn strait." Into the mike.

Reddy sighed, "fine, but when I was only at the archers epoch while you had a full twenty divisions of infantry and three divisions of aerial fighter bombers/helicopters to use to attack me I have to wonder. Anyways, think Sylvia is ready to fight?"

Tom glanced back at Sylvia's storm sworder while remaining in his cockpit, "She's got a hangover you know what she's like when she's got one." Sylvia was currently on her own private channel cursing off the leader of the other team while the other guy was doing the same. "She'll manage."

"Ah so she'll be fine?" Reddy asked.

"That is another matter entirely." Tom sighed. "Well you two get ready once the judge hits the ground."

Then the judge did just that. "Warning warning, the area within an eight mile radius is now an official zoid battlefield. Team Ryu versus team ken. Ready fight!"

"I'll take big and monkey like. Sylvia you were cursing off the saber tiger right? He's yours. Reddy can manage the Gojulas until either of us are done, with my money on it being Sylvia that's done first."

"You bastard!!!" Shouted Sylvia as she flat out rammed the saber tiger. The tiger was knocked over and the storm sworder jostled around, but Sylvia was ready for another attack before the saber tiger pilot knew what was going on. "Go to hell!!!" Using the sword on her head Sylvia cut into the saber tiger and made his command system freeze. "I never liked you." Then a swearing match began again.

"That's Sylvia for ya'" reddy grinned out. "Always ready to bite your head off." Reddy himself was having little trouble dodging the gojulas's attacks; it's just that his own attacks were having almost no effect on the Gojulas that was the problem.

Tom was having better luck. True his attacks did just as little damage as reddy's, but he got off a lot more of them. Then just as the Iron Kong tried for a swipe of the shadow fox's feet, a maneuver that, if successful, would end with the shadow fox frozen (Means command system freeze, I'll use that from now on) if not should, key word there being should, not be all that bad, but Tom was no normal pilot. "Trying to sweep my feet eh? I guess it's time for my trademark." Tom gave a thumbs up to no-one and then went wild on the iron Kong.

When the Kong was but a small distance away from pounding the shadow fox the shadow fox leapt up greatly clear of the Kong's fist. Both Sylvia and reddy cleared way out of the area. Even the judge became defensive. Everyone knew what was coming but the big bulky zoids could do naught about it. The shadow fox's Gatling gun began spinning around at a blinding pace. Loosing ton's of bullets in random circle. Tom started a crazy maniacal laugh as hundreds of bullets pounded the iron Kong and gojulas. Even though other avoided zoids entirely and on managed to KO the judge. Then another capsule came down. But instead of a judge there was a man in there. As the Iron Kong and gojulas fell down he shouted, "Function ceased, the winner is team ryu!"

Tom squinted, at the new guy, he got out of his cockpit, "Who are you?"

"Me, I'm mister referee, referee from Medabots."

"Medabots… what is that?"

"Its close enough to zoids trust me."

"So why did they send you?"

"Because I am a much smaller target, and I am much harder to kill off."

"Ah. Well welcome to Zi Mr. Referee."

"Thank you. Mr. Referee, away!!!" Mr. Referee pulled out a jet pack and then flew away.

"Now who would ever use that guy to judge anything?" Tom asked. "And more importantly where did he get that jet pack from."

Sylvia landed; she began cursing off the whole of team ken. Constantly bringing up street fighter in her argument. Reddy landed and tried to dissuade a fight. Tom got out and Ko'd Sylvia with a grab at a nerve. Then the three left.

-Meanwhile in a diner after press coverage of the match had ended-

"Team ryu huh. They're going to be dangerous opponents." Doc toros said as he sat across from coffee drinking brad looking at the TV. The waitress handed him the bill. "Oh the bill." A moment passed, "WHAT!!! I can't be expected to pay all of that!!!" Doc looked around most of the team had already scattered.

Lena was busy trying to flirt, while simultaneously avoiding Harry champ. Bit was pawning off some thing that he had found somewhere at some time. The deal seemed to be failing. Brad was, well actually brad had left the exact money for his meal and he was talking with Naomi.

The wild eagle was having the time of it all hitting up a group of teenage girls for everything he could do. Then for no apparent reason he switched back to Jamie and began getting slapped, and slapped, and slapped some more.

Doc toros saw all this and in desperation pulled out some toy models. "You'd never leave me you guys."

-End-

Quick info. That ken vs. ryu thing was an intended street fighter joke. Mr. referee will appear in other matches and there's a lot more junk to come.


	2. vs champ part 1

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two zoids 'families'

The long awaited sequel to chapter one.

Chapter two Team ryu vs. The champ team. Part 1 – the challenge

This chapter contains my twisted sense of humor, and a fork. I'll let you imagine for a moment before reading.

As a general aside, in all my stories italicized stuff is thought and may be included within a speech or short talking period.

Oh and story specific, since I have two doc's, doc toros and doc, I will refer to doc toros just as toros for the majority of the time.

-Begin-

They day after the match of team ryu and team ken team ryu and the blitz team met, quite unintentionally, they just both happened to like the same diner. Doc was the one that made this critical observation. "Hey isn't that the blitz team at table 105?"

Sylvia leaned out of her seat and took a look, "Sure looks like it."

Doc muttered, "Ah I see. It appears that we are both regulars to this diner. For I the ever observant Doc. Has observed them here on many an occasion."

Tom returned from using the bathroom to hear doc's little speech. "What I miss?"

Henry looked at the blitz team and all of the sudden he became love struck. "Who is that beautiful woman?"

"Who the one at table 104 or table 106?" Sylvia asked without looking.

"No the one at table 105." Upon Henry's words doc Tom and reddy froze in whatever they were doing. Sylvia grew red with rage.

"Oh shit." Tom muttered as he doc and reddy ate much faster. "In order to avoid the end of the world we must get out of here fast. Check please, Check please!!!" Tom spoke with his mouth half full.

"But I'm not done yet." Sylvia said anger behind each word and the extended pauses between them.

"Just wrap it. Take it and go, take it and go. You to hen- oh god no please tell me he went to the bathroom." Tom's head hit the table incredibly hard.

Doc sighed as Sylvia disappeared too. "The end of the world has come."

Meanwhile at the blitz teams table Henry was trying to woo Lena. And Harry was watching Henry, and the hole of the blitz team, and Henry and Harry were being watched by Sylvia. And the whole of this was being watched by the remainder of team ryu still at their table all three of which were accepting absolute defeat.

"Oh Lena, oh Lena. Where for art thou Lena." Henry was on one knee facing Lena.

"So he's your cousin right brad?" Bit asked coffee drinking brad. "Hello, earth to brad, is this guy related to you or not?"

Bit," Jamie whispered into bit's ear, "brad's embarrassed, it would be best not to ask questions."

"Ah got ya'." Bit said as he decided to back off.

Then Harry champ arrived and things went more off tilt. "So you're trying to steal **my **girl I see you, you, you person you!"

"Your girl? Who are you to say?" Brad glared down Harry.

"I, Harry Champ, heir to half the fortune of the champ family and a man destined to be king." Harry took up an elegant pose then his face contorted in pain. "OW that girl stabbed my hand with a fork!"

Sylvia held a bloody fork in her hand. She put on her cutest face and said, "Who me?" She pointed the fork tip at her neck for some reason known only to her.

"No." Said Harry. "I must have been hallucinating; it must have been this bastard over here trying to steal my girl!" Harry turned to face Henry.

"Me, why you moron you probably stabbed yourself. Or maybe it was one of your robots trying to help you play the sympathy card! Ow! See now I've been stabbed with a fork. That settles it you are the one at fault!" Sylvia pulled a fork out of the hand of Henry. Reddy, doc, and Tom tried to sneak out.

"Stay!" Sylvia said enraged. She threw a fork at the table. It hit Tom.

"Hey!" Tom shouted.

"You can heal it."

"Yeah, but that's not the point!"

"SHUT UP!" Sylvia now seemed possessed.

"Yes mam." Tom said as he completely submitted and pulled a fork out of his hand.

Henry and Harry looked at Sylvia, "Did you just throw a bloody fork at Tom/that guy?" They both said at once.

"Me?" Said Sylvia again forcing innocence to her face, "What would ever give you that idea?"

By now Lena had formed a plan. "Stop bickering over me boys. The only way to solve this is a Zoid battle. Henry you shall accept to Harry's terms on the matter."

"I hope there's no way you think I'm getting involved!" Came a cry from across the diner. Two women's glares silenced him.

Harry handed Henry a digital clip board. "My battle conditions."

"Three zoids, unlimited ammo, two days from now. At the place where I first fought bit." Henry recited, "Okay I'm all good."

The two hmph'd and walked opposite ways.

"Lena you do know that Henry is part of team ryu." Bit stated to Lena.

"Yes."

"So you know how screwed Harry is." Bit again pointed out the obvious.

"Do you think I care?"

"This is true, you are cold and un-feeling." Bit laughed "OW! I just got stabbed with a fork!" Bit grabbed his hand.

"Nice stab, Sylvia was it?" Lena said.

"Yeah, nice manipulation of the weaker gender." Sylvia smiled as the two shook.

"That's it." Tom sighed, face facing the table top, "The two devils on this earth have shook, it's the end of the world."

The waiter came, "Your check."

"WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE MY HAND WAS PIERCED WITH A FORK!!!?" Tom exploded. "For that you get a bad tip."

The waiter looked at the cash handed to him. Still seemed more than fifteen percent of the top of his head. "Oh the horrors."

-Later-

Tom's hand had healed, as if by a miracle. Henry was still healing however and he had bandages around his hand. Also bit, Lena, brand, Jamie, and Doc toros were with team ryu at team ryu's base. Harry champ was there also, hand in bandages. He and Henry were constantly vying for Lena's attention.

"Alright, Henry, myself and Tom-" Sylvia started.

"No." Tom interrupted, "You threw a fork at my hand. I will not help you."

"YOU BETTER OR…" Sylvia said, her voice gaining a hint of evil.

"**OR WHAT**?" Tom outdid the evil in Sylvia's voice by a long shot.

"Fine. Reddy will sub in for Tom."

"Um wait!!!" Reddy quickly tried to find an excuse, but music made by Richard D. James started playing, it went 'I will eat your soul'. Tom was pressing the play button. "Fine I'll do it."

Tom grinned, "Now to go socialize with the blitz team." Tom walked off with Brad, Bit, and Lena. Harry was also evicted from the hangar. Jamie and Toros stayed behind to watch Team ryu plan. They got very little.

"Alright the battle field is a giant city, so the plan is Henry chases Harry while me and reddy stay above the city and shoot at everything that moves." Sylvia looked around at her team mates. They nodded and shrugged their approval.

"That's it. That's how you guys plan for battles!" Doc toros exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah more or less, especially if it's a b-class team." Doc (Ryu-doc) said. "Especially a really weak and somewhat lucky b-class team."

Toros then saw why there were no real plans, "Oh yeah for an s-class team anything less than s-class enemies are cakewalks for you guys."

"Um not exactly." Doc said. "Some a-class teams give us trouble. But b-class teams are real easy."

"Ah I see." Toros said.

"Yeah. The point system can give us a relative idea of how well a team is doing, but over time a team is bound to accumulate more points. So the champ team has been around for nine years, they're only in b-class. Team ryu has been around for nine years. Six years as a solo team, three in its current incarnation. That should give you a hint of the difference in skill levels. That and our match record, a match record rarely leads ya' wrong." Doc ended his speech.

"Okay I know exactly what you mean. How about we talk about it?" Toros was interested, the man was very smart.

"Fine, we've got an all purpose kitchen, then a bar right in the other room, whatever your preference may be."

"Do you collect zoid model kits?"

"Some, mainly I focus on my cat Garfield however."

"A cat I see." The two walked off to somewhere in the base.

This turn of events left Jamie with Reddy, Sylvia and Henry. He had no idea where the others had gone, and the fact is he didn't care to get close to two of the people in the room. He didn't want to get close to Henry because he was very similar to brad, Minus the Henry complex in relation to Lena. And Sylvia stabbed people with forks. She was a danger to society. Reddy seemed normal. At least more normal. That and he was the closest to the Black dragon/Tom. It would be a good chance to learn things no website could teach anyone. Now how to get rid of the others.

"Um reddy, you're an aerial zoid pilot; can you show me all your different zoids?" Jamie asked specifically to reddy. Sylvia had a storm sworder; he had to hope she took no interest in him.

"Sure why not. They're really not all that special zoids, nowhere near as secret or as special or rare as a blade liger, storm sworder, or a shadow fox. Those three I won't show you, but we do have over three dozen zoids that I can show you." Reddy seemed enthusiastic about this.

"Whoa." Jamie blinked, "That's a **lot** of zoids.

"Yeah." Reddy smiled and chuckled. "Actually Tom and my self only paid for a command wolf long ago, and we pay to upgrade our zoids, other wise every zoid our team has that officially belongs to either him or me we got for free."

"How's that?" Jamie was curious. They had only ever paid for one zoid. It sounded like Sylvia and Henry had bought theirs, and while it wasn't impossible to find zoids laying around here and there it wasn't so easy as to get three dozen of them.

"You ever heard of the northern conflict?" Reddy asked as he started walking.

"Who hasn't heard of it at one time or another?" On the extreme northern end of the continent were two large nations that were always fighting. They fought each other most of the time, and mostly over a border that crossed three rivers, a large forest, and a mountain range, but sometimes over other things. And they sometimes brought the battles down south to other countries either by way of alliance systems established in half year peaces or by assaulting the allies made in those same treaties for the other side.

"Six years ago when half the continent was at war I was caught in hells alley. Tom saved me with the one command wolf he had bought. My parents were dead so he took me in." Reddy looked up at the ceiling and stopped talking for a moment. He was thinking. "He was there as a free unit working for the just resurrected guardian force. He responded to a lot of wild calls and he took me all the time. And once he got a second zoid he gave it to me. Taught me how to use it and everything. That's how I got my favorite and perhaps toughest zoid." Reddy paused as he pressed some buttons by a door. The door hissed open. "My black reddler." In front of Jamie was a black reddler that was in the air. Fully equipped with some very modern and very advanced equipment. As well as a lot of other top of the line items not available even six years ago.

"You've upgraded since you first got it haven't you." Jamie said quite bluntly as he looked at the zoid.

"You can tell." Reddy opened his eyes wide in shock, "That's amazing. I've had some pretty decent zoid experts come before and told them the same story, and when I show them this they think that these are all the original parts. But you could tell, that's real amazing."

Jamie was unused to getting praise like this. "Why thanks a lot. That's really nice." He turned somewhat red and scratched the back of his head.

"The black dragon told me that if someone really deserves something it's not nice, it's what they deserve. I could never argue with his logic." Reddy groaned and kicked a wall. Then he paused in pain for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Jamie asked more cautious than caring. "I know someone who broke their toe by kicking a wall."

"Yeah I'm fine, I just forgot I'm not wearing steel toes." Jamie looked at reddy's combat boots.

"_Why does a fourteen year old kid wear combat boots? That's a weird fashion statement._" Jamie thought as he helped reddy up from down on the floor.

"Oog thanks Jamie. I guess I'll show you the rest of the zoids. Let me just get my reddler out of our faces." Reddy walked over to a control panel and got that very same flying zoid out of their faces. It seemed to be held on more than twenty steel cables. "It should have enough cables to not crash down when you're under it." Reddy chuckled.

Now that the one zoid was not in his way Jamie got a chance to look at all the zoids team ryu possessed. Near him were the core zoids, the storm sworder, Blade liger, and shadow fox. All on the bottom level of this large round coliseum like room. There were also the extra zoids. Gunsniper, other reddler, zabat, a slightly beaten up raynos, a petera, four other flying zoids, and what looked to be a badly damaged pile of scrap. Ignoring the scrap for a moment Jamie looked to his left, there was a well maintained, only the slightest bit dusty, command wolf. Like reddy said Tom had. It was brown and black like the infamous Irvine model. On the tier above it were various weapons that it could be equipped with. There was a fair array. But what was most noticeable was a guardian force symbol emblazoned on the lower jaw and on each leg and weapon. The other zoids were a mix of many different types, including some older, rarer, and not so good looking zoids.

"There are a lot of zoids here." Jamie said after several minutes looking.

"Yeah." Reddy smiled as he put both hands behind his back and started walking towards the side with the main team zoids. "These are the three main team zoids. Look but don't touch. Here's the gunsniper, and my extra flyers'. And there." Reddy said pointing to the scrap about half way around the ring of zoids, "Is what we believe is a genosaur. Not confirmed but we have no reason not to think so. Save its all red." Reddy said sounding confused and somewhat annoyed. "Past that is an old blade liger, supposed to be practically ancient. Same story with the lightening saix, di-bison, and Gustav. All supposed to be ancient. The only reason we have them is because we found them during the war. They were free, and they could be used as spare parts. But they weren't and now we're trying to restore them." Reddy looked at all the 'ancient zoids' and sighed. All of them were very badly beaten up, "It's going pretty slowly."

"So you guys restore these zoids?"

"Yeah, us and a few old friends who are supposed 'experts' but they aren't as smart as you. Sylvia and Henry do little, although Sylvia helps me with the raynos, our current project. Henry does do some work on the blade liger, but we focus mostly on the genosaur. And get very little done."

Jamie and Reddy got more and more absorbed in zoids technical talk as they discussed almost every somewhat damaged zoid in the room.

Meanwhile Tom had been treating Lena, Bit, and Brad to drinks in the round wood paneled old west decorated bar. After a while he had began ranting why Sylvia was dangerous because Henry was obsessed with Lena, and verbally released his rage on her. Referring to the danger of forks constantly. Lena ended up to drunk to care. Bit was drunk but was still a recognizable bit, Tom was an angrily venting drunk, and brad seemed impossible to get drunk. Despite having three more drinks than anyone else.

When doc and Toros entered they were surprised at the scene. Brad explained what had been going on, "Tom's been venting on Lena, who's been drunk and giggly the whole time. Bit, well he's been halved for enthusiasm, intelligence, and everything else, but he's still undoubtedly bit. And I've been sitting here. No-one blabbed anything key other than the fact that Sylvia is a raging bitch, and that I could guess when she came in and stabbed Tom's hand with a fork 20 minutes ago."

"That's impossible." Said toros. "If he was stabbed 20 minutes ago he'd still be bleeding. And even if it was a shallow stab, which I find hard to believe, we'd still see the marks."

Brad looked around. "Well the forks still here and blood covered. And though I can't attest to the deepness of the wound I can tell you there was, and still is blood." He said pointing to the counter as he looked for the assault device.

"Brad." Asked doc, "Did Tom wash his hands?"

"Yes." Brad said now leaning over the counter itself to look for the fork.

"Well then toros, I believe brad."

"Why? It would be almost impossible for someone to heal that fast and it doesn't make sense for one team mate to stab another."

"Oh, the stabbing is easy to believe when it comes to Sylvia. She does it all the time to Tom, and she stabbed Henry, Bit, and Harry in the diner remember. Not to mention she threw the fork and it hit Tom in the hand." Doc chuckled and then sighed a bit.

-End-

Well that's the end to Ryu vs. champ part 1. I planned for the team to become friendly with each other, as is well established between Henry and brad (their cousins) Doc and toros, Henry and Lena (not vice-versa) and Jamie and reddy. It is also not as well established, but the bar group (Tom, bit, brad and Lena) got a bit more friendly while they were sober.

As a controversial side, no-one is planned to be in a same sex relation (i.e. Jamie and reddy) I just did that Jamie and reddy part to do some explaining and hinting at what's to come. Not to mention hint/base overview for the prequel to this that tells about Tom/the black dragon's time in the guardian force and give more of an idea of my take on the zoids history. Still working on this mentally, no title yet, should be out before the end of july, most likely early july 07'.

That's all.


	3. Vs champt part 2

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two zoids 'families'

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two zoids 'families'

The long awaited sequel to chapter two.

Chapter 3 - Team Ryu vs. The champ team part two – the battle itself

-Begin-

The blitz team awoke in the base of team Ryu. Not entirely sure why they were there. When pressed for answers by team Ryu they received insults, obscenities, and the occasional fork. There was no reason, since they were already there, to avoid going to the match with team Ryu. Toros took it as an opportunity to learn about team ryu. He was told by Doc and Tom that he would learn squat since Sylvia and Henry were both being controlled by their emotions. Also reddy was the swing, whether be controlled to win by Henry _or_ be controlled to loose because of fear of Sylvia. Either way Henry was bound to be the most devoted, and Sylvia was going to let herself be shot down in the first three minutes.

"You're kidding right; no-one would do that." A pause, "Right?"

Tom stared at doc toros flatly. Then spun around pulled a paddle ball paddle out of nowhere and bounced a rubber ball on it flipping the paddle over several times. "You think they'll listen, try it, if any of you succeed on Henry I'll give you…" Tom opened his wallet. He counted his money and then mouthed what was in all probability calculations. "Twenty bucks. Twenty for Sylvia if we loose, forty if we win and she's still functioning."

"What if you win and she's not functioning?" Brad asked.

"That's my guess on the most likely possibility. I'll give you squat. Oh and Leena's not in on the Henry part."

"Why's that?" Leena asked with disdain in her voice.

"He's controlled by his emotions for you. Hence you control him. Now doc and I have our own bets as to what will happen. But you can do whatever you want."

"You bet on your own matches?" Brad said as he thought big cash if he could get in on that. He was good at betting.

"Yeah doc is the only one who will bet we loose more than once a year." Tom frowned at the old guy behind him on the ships main bridge. Doc just grinned.

"Hey when I'm actually in plus three thousand for just losing matches."

"Shut up old coot." Tom harrumphed and faced forwards at he screen showing what was ahead.

"Did he bet on you losing?" Bit took a guess.

"Yup. And this time I can swear I know what will happen."

"Why?" Asked the whole of blitz sitting in the various station seats for various tasks that the ship could perform.

"Because I know I will be influence on reddy." Tom grinned. "He'll just try to survive while I try and direct his survival attempts to a positive effect."

The blitz team looked at Tom with a manipulating grin. Then they huddled.

"If this is how they always operate they're a lot like us." Came the first group line. Jamie took up in the awkward pause that followed. "Well I can say that we'll never learn a whole lot by watching this battle. Honestly we might get the wrong idea and then during our battle make a mistake."

"But still," doc added, "We could learn about how well reddy and Henry can maneuver their zoids. They'll be giving it their all, and maybe we'll learn about Sylvia if she tries to give it her all to fail."

"How will we learn anything that way?" Bit asked confused.

"Because she will go far, far, far out of her way and push her skills to the limit to be a big problem." Brad replied.

"Well I think we should try to take advantage of this all and get in on their betting and make some money. How much you all got? I've got… three hundred twenty bucks."

"About one hundred twenty." (Bit)

"Since I've been saving for a big model, seven hundred dollars." (Doc)

"I'm willing to bet six hundred." (Brad)

"Three thousand." Then everyone looked at Jamie. "What I am in joint control of the team budget with doc and we had some money from the various ventures we've done and I was going to make a deposit for the last one when we arrived in their base and then carrier for no apparent reason."

"Battle ship!" Doc shouted. "This is a battle ship based of the ship that originally brought humans to Zi 5,000 years ago. It can go into space, it has a shield that could deflect a charged particle beam and a gravity cannon shell simultaneously. It's armament could then rip the ultrasaurus to shreds! And it contains special AI controlled fighter craft and can hold over eighty zoids! This is no hover carrier like your puny little thing! Oh and there is no minimum or maximum on bets as long as it is less than the combined wagers of all other persons." Everyone looked at doc, save Tom who was focused on the paddle and ball, muttering, 'be the paddle, be the ball' to himself.

"We're in." Was the blitz team response. Quickly doc got their match end stats, who would win, who would still be functioning, or both.

-Meanwhile down in the zoid hangar-

Sylvia had worn a tight outfit that showed off every curve exactly and revealed a fair amount of cleavage in a vain attempt to get Henry to focus on her. Reddy was somewhat interested, but whenever he started to focus on her, any part of her or a her as a whole, something hit him, not Sylvia, at least not every time, but something, a wrench, paint bucket, sandbag, one time he slipped on a banana peel and his head hit the floor. The hitting stopped once he got in his zoid cockpit. Though he did look more. Meanwhile Henry was pre-occupied with frame from the security camera with the back of Leena's head in it. The beautiful women showing off right in front of him was ignored totally and completely. That made Sylvia swear. Reddy liked it, Henry couldn't give a damn, and doc and Tom were collecting the blitz team's bets and couldn't give a damn for those reasons. But still, Sylvia really loved Henry, but Henry made a brick wall look oblivious. That was a feat that doc, reddy, Tom and most everyone who saw the two in the same room for more than eight minutes picked up on the open love from Sylvia. And while they had different interpretations as to why everyone saw the blatant ignorance of Henry. Most saw it as spite, Tom had shown Sylvia spite on day three of her joining; she had only flirted once, when she was sober, since. Some saw it as something like add, he had been known to occasionally ignore Sylvia for a brick wall. But he always said he was 'drawn to it' and it had to deal with being part zoidian, his mother being a zodian released from a capsule like many had over the course of roughly 4,000 years since the defeat of the deathsaurer at the hands of van flyheight. Maybe the same was true with his attraction to Leena. Not that it mattered Sylvia had a zoidian relative, so did doc, Sylvia had both her grandmother and grandfather, on separate sides, doc had a great, great, great something, it was really not certain how he was related. Reddy had no known family, but lacked zodian DNA, Tom had none either. But all you, the reader, needs to know is that zoidians did occasionally awake after all these years.

Still Sylvia planned to get leena out of Henry's reach. Usually once he was denied something totally for long enough he would give up, save that brick wall, he was persistent whenever he came near that thing. And now Sylvia plotted for a loss, not the first time she did this either and she knew exactly what to do.

Team ryu launched their zoids, storm sworder, blade liger, and black reddler. The champ team already had its three iron Kong's waiting in the city. The three zoids for team ryu waited outside.

Finally the time for the judge to arrive came. But nothing happened. After enough time Harry asked, "Where's the judge capsule?"

Tom appeared on Harry's monitor. "I've been thinking, and I doubt we'll be getting a judge, I think we'll be getting a referee."

"A what?" Harry said as his radar announced an incoming man sized thing.

"A guy on a jetpack. Or so it seems." The man on the jetpack was indeed the mysterious Mr. Referee fellow that had shown up for Team ryu's last match. "Why are you here instead of a judge capsule?" Tom asked over the ships message broadcast system.

"Well since the backdraft problem, and the fact that it's off season, we were unable to get enough judge capsules. So, since I was here already, and qualified for the job I took it." Mr. Referee passed the ship by and hit the wall. "Ow that hurt. Alright I officially declare this a submission robattle, the loser must submit one medapart to the winner, Medafighters ready? Medabots robattle!"

Tom paused ready to correct the man, but decided that since it wasn't his fight it really didn't matter. "That means go." Was his final choice of words. Tom looked at doc, who was working out a bet with doc toros.

"Folks this is the final bet!" Doc said on cue. He rushed the wager with toros, sticking him with money on a tie. "Betting closed, now we watch the match!"

Mr. Referee looked up at the bridge of the ship, "Is that legal?"

"Are you legal?"

"Touché."

-Meanwhile in the maze of despair-

Henry was charging forwards through dozens of walls straight towards Harry champ. Harry was running as fast as an iron Kong could. Benjamin and Sebastian were shooting at the aerial zoids, Sylvia was almost half dodging them. She timed her getting hit with the impact on Henry. It was perfect. Her storm sworder was hit, by a shot easy to dodge. She then fell towards Benjamin and Sebastian saying as pathetically she could sound, "Help I'm falling. Reddy rescue me." Reddy looked at her, sighed, but didn't move to help her. Sylvia growled playfully, reddy did not respond, she shouted and still he did nothing. She pressed the button to shoot the grappler cables tied herself with reddy, pulled him in and caused him to shut off his jets in order to limit their falling speed. Or so she thought.

Sylvia placed a hand to her forehead, she tried to look as seductive as possible give the situation, "Oh no, I've accidentally tied up my team mate and caused him to crash. Oh what will I ever do." She cut of video feed to Henry and then grinned like a possessed woman. She impacted Benjamin and Sebastian and after the impact devices went off for her she undid a few buttons and waited for the announcement of the battle ending. When ten minutes passed and not even a peep came out of the judge/referee she finally opened her cockpit to see Henry's blade liger standing over the four zoids. "Henry you made it!" She said but she thought, _YOU BASTARD! How dare you make it!_ "I'm so glad, now we have a chance!"

"We always were going to win, because I am truly a man dedicated!" Henry must have been making a pose inside of his blade liger. Sylvia swore violently. "What was that?"

"Oh nothing Henry go find Harry now." She turned around looking for reddy. "Stupid brat threw me off. I'm gonna kill the little bastard." Meanwhile Henry ran off ready to rip Harry to shreds.

-Sometime later somewhere in the city-

"Harry champ, man who thinks he is destined to be king, I will defeat you!" Henry finally backed Harry into a corner.

"What, you think I think I'm destined to be king!?"

"Yeah that'ssss what I said."

"Well, um… Well um… I'm Harry champ a man destined to be king, and I will not loose to you!"

"Enough of your talk prepare yourself!!" Henry's blades on his red blade liger extended outwards. Harry shot off as many shots as he could. Henry simply deployed his shield.

"NOOOOOO!! How could I, Harry champ a man destined to be king, heir to the champ corporation, one of the most advanced arms makers on the planet and the maker of this zoids weapons, not have a weapon strong enough to pierce the shield of a blade liger!?" Harry made several poses over the course of that utterance, stating with grandiose, during his catchphrase, to sly, during the advertisement of the champ corporation, to panic in the part following that.

"Because you fail at life! Take this my love my hate and all of my sorrow, shining finger sword!!" Henry charged the iron Kong. He sliced off the zoids left arm at the elbow. Then he turned his zoid on a dime, deactivated the shield and fired off the lasers from his blades. They all impacted the iron Kong at the shoulder blades, one of an iron Kong's few weaknesses. And almost impossible to get at from the front. The iron Kong slumped. A command system freeze.

"Function ceased, the winner is, team ryu!"

Tom looked at the referee fellow who had a scouter, which he had used to detect the zoids function ceasing. "I can get the practical meaning of the term. But don't the judges say 'battle over. Battle over, the winner is team ryu.'" Tom thought, "Well this works I guess. We win either way." Tom grinned lazily. "At least I get the team ryu wins bet money." Tom looked at the members of the blitz team. Brad and Jamie were counting up the money from their identical bets for this exact circumstance. Bit also made a profit, but it was minute. Leena was wiped out and doc was left crying in a corner about no new models for a month.

-Later during the post match celebration-

One of the many pre-set agreements between combatants was the leaving the loser in the hands of the victor, and Henry had no noble ideals when it came to abusing poor Henry. He had stuck him on a stake a foot or two above a fire roasting Harry. Tom had made a comment of burning Harry alive being gruesome, but was then stabbed with a fork by leena. He then shut up as he stared at the fork in his hand.

Meanwhile, while Harry wasn't whimpering (who can blame him, he's on fire), he was shouting at the laughing leena and Harry, "It's not funny my ass is on fire!!" (And there's the Mr. Bungle joke)

"Are you kidding, it's freaking hilarious!" (My response to that line) Leena would respond laughing.

Another part of the match wager was that the winner would be free to pursue leena. Harry began, "My dear leena, I would like to know if you would..."

"No."

"Oh, so you never liked me at all?"

"Yup."

"You were just using me to get at Harry."

"More or less."

"And vice-versa."

"I suppose to a lesser extent, I actually like you a bit."

"Does that mean we have half a chance if I don't act like Harry?" Sylvia joined in the conversation.

"Not until heel freezes over, thaws, re-freezes and then is caught in the last battle as stated in the book of revelations."

"Sylvia…" Henry's voice trembled with fear.

"I've got something ready special made for you." Sylvia produced several ropes, a large sturdy stick and forks galore.

"Oh crap…" Henry just hung his arms out in front of him like someone about to get handcuffed. He was tackled and then tied to the stick. He was then placed on a spit over a much larger fire.

Tom looked at Henry, "he's flailing."

Reddy looked closer, "Look in the dirt he scribed a word!"

Tom read it to himself then said, "O-H-M-Y-G-O-D-I-M-O-N-F-I-R-E-S-O-M-E-B-O-D-Y-P-U-T-M-E-O-U-T-F-O-R-C-R-Y-I-N-G-O-U-T-L-O-U-D-! Interesting, that's one big word." Tom found himself alone for a moment, approached Sylvia and said, "I really don't care about Harry, save that it's very graphic for a children's show to burn someone alive, but Henry is our teammate and we need him alive so I will tell you, I do not like what you are doing here at all and I may try to stop you." Tom paused. A fork appeared in the hand where a fork had not been before. "I see." Tom then calmly walked away.

-End-

What's coming next chapter? I dunno I'm making this stuff up as I go along! Well on with the battles! And all the more power to Mr. referee.


	4. Chapter 4

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two Zoids 'families'

Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two Zoids 'families'

The long awaited sequel to chapter three

Chapter 4 – The Fluegel team, fork-fu and Ti Kwan leep.

Hint to content: More misc. battles

Also considering how long it's been since I worked on this chapter even, (a month or three-five) or something, and since my other Zoids fic has rendered something like two fifths of what happened here almost (almost) useless consider Reddy's zoid explanation in chapter two as a big lie to cover up a _REAL _complex past he and Tom both have.

Also with a, most likely temporary, change in mental state there won't be as much humor, though I will keep the fork and plan to introduce a new martial art form that fans of 'teaching spike to robattle' will recognize, TI KWAN LEEP. With Tom being its prime master (gasp!).

-Begin-

The day after the champ battle the blitz team and team ryu were walking about in a city, discussing why they were still sticking together. The best answer anyone could figure was plot device.

Then they watched the news, because TV always will provide answers. "In zoid battle news the Fluegel team, lightening team, Elephander team, and the new comer team, team ZB are all being considered for a raise in rank to S-class by the ZBC based on experience. It is said that the Fluegel team is looking for S-class opponents, unlike the rest of the teams, in order for themselves a chance to test their piloting skills against higher level opponents.With a button push on the remote doc spoke to the blitz team, and turned the TV off which caused team ryu to boo and hiss. "Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't one of the members of the Fluegel team a relation of yours toros?"

"Yes, Leon is my son. He's older than leena you see so he left the team a while back."

"Yes I see, but would he, perhaps, know some team strategies, or know how you operate in general. Or perhaps know any special weaknesses of any of you?"

"Um well I guess he would know Leena inside out, but that's because he's her brother."

"Tom." Doc asked.

"Yes?"

"Internet, now."

"Hoi." Tom said with a total lack of interest. "You want to e-mail the Fluegel team a challenge, correct?"

"Yes now leave." Doc waved away everyone. Everyone left when doc waved.

When all was said and done everyone would agree that it would have been better for them not to let the sick bastard doc to write the letter. In short it was a ransom of a challenge, fight a battle with us or Relena gets poked by any number of forks. One could argue doc was an idiot because of that letter, but in the like respect one could argue he was smart for realizing such a lame taunt would actually work on that guy.

Three hours later they had their reply. A sniper shot went through the middle of the base. On it was a small message, "Surrender Relena or you die tomorrow."

After several minutes of staring by everyone Tom asked, "Doc what did your message say?"

"That we were holding Relena hostage and would poke her with a number of forks if you didn't accept our challenge." Doc grinned. The whole of team ryu glared, some prepared to lunge. "What it worked didn't it?" Team ryu lunged as one.

A few minutes, and forks, later doc lay bloody beaten and as a seat for Sylvia. "So we need to do battle with these people don't we."

Tom stared at her, "We, you mean Henry and myself."

"No I mean _we_, as in all of us."

"No you mean the people who didn't try and force us to loose the last match and in the process severely damage two Zoids." Tom glared at Sylvia. She just blushed and scratched the back of her head. "I thought so. Well anyway since only Henry and myself have Zoids ready for battle I suppose the two of us will have to do it." Then he paused in thought. "Unless…" He trailed scratching his chin.

"Unless what?" bit asked.

"Unless you guys do it for us." Tom said with a grin.

"No." Was the group response.

"It was worth a shot." Tom said as he let his thought path trail to other totally random things.

"What about the battle plan?" Henry said as he looked at Tom. After a moment he snapped his fingers in Tom's face. Tom didn't respond. "Sylvia." Henry said calmly. A fork pierced the spot Tom had been. Tom, he had ducked and was now about at the height of doc's head.

"Getting a good view geezer?" Tom said looking at Doc with a tilt in his head. Doc gave him a thumbs up. Sylvia was wearing a very short skirt and was sitting near the old mans head.

"HEY!" Sylvia shouted in rage above all else. "You old perverted geezer!" She said getting up and kicking doc.

"Note to self." Tom muttered, "Doc is in the sickbay for a while."

The blitz team stared on for a moment as they watched team ryu watch Sylvia kick doc and then just split up to do various things of relative non-importance. "Are they normal?" Bit asked.

"Should we help that old guy?" Jamie asked.

"Do you think doc was looking at me?" Relena said covering herself up.

"Do you think doc would be willing to give me his zoid models if he dies?" Doc toros asked. He got a grunted, 'Never', as his response.

"Why are we even here?" Brad asked making every member of the blitz team completely disregard whatever they may have been thinking about and follow a new thought path. Sylvia kept on kicking doc, as she had just gotten her second wind.

Meanwhile down below in the team hangar as Tom and Henry began checking on their Zoids they began a conversation. "Why do you think Sylvia got so pissed when doc admitted to looking up her skirt?" Henry started.

"Hell if I know, she's really the type not to care. Although that is only if the right guy happens to look." Tom laughed. "She really only cares about the body." He said with a vague sigh, "That's gotten her into quite some problems." Various escapades with Tom breaking into places carrying massive amounts of weapons, and more often than not shooting them at people or stuff indiscriminately, and at the end finding Sylvia usually bound, naked, beat up, drunk, filthy or any combo of the five. "I tend to deal with her failed 'escapades'. Usually if she's naked I tie her up and stick her in the back of the rescue vehicle. And I shoot some guns to let out the stress."

Henry continued on with his zoid repairs, he had heard many of these tales before. After this one he wasn't sure what scared him more, the stories themselves or the fact that they didn't faze him in the least. "Um I guess I'll go with the second." Henry muttered as he fixed the last few little things that he knew about and began to scan for more things that could be damaged.

Tom was busy grumbling as he began his standard maintenance program, most of which was oiling the parts and pushing buttons in a perfectly memorized sequence. Without thinking he declared himself done saying, "My shadow fox hasn't needed any repairs since the ones after the last battle. And fact is that was thorough enough for any of us. And besides I can crush them even with the shadow fox at 50."

Henry looked at Tom, "Arrogance is most definitely not one of your weaknesses."

"I would agree. But my greatest strength is sarcasm for sure."

Henry looked at Tom who raised his eyebrows gave Henry winks and nudges. "Yes I get it you really are arrogant, and you are sarcastic, I'm not a total idiot despite whatever you may think."

Tom nodded and left Henry to his own devices, going to the other zoid in the hangar. "So how are you my special Ghost fox?" Tom said looking at the command wolf in a corner. "I think it about time my past comes closer to the surface and I'm gonna start with you." Tom smiled walking over to a control panel in the wall he began pressing various buttons and after about three minutes he input a code and the area behind the command wolf opened up. The command wolf began slowly sliding back on a special set of tracks designed for just this. "But first you're going to get re-painted. I really need you in the classic Ghost fox coloration scheme." Tom smiled, "Won't need my input for that."

Then Tom walked to the entrance of the command wolf's special hangar spot and moved a chain across the entrance that read, "Hey what did you expect a command wolf, well too bad it's mine and I can decide to take it off public display as I wish." Then Tom laughed, "Oh I'll feel sorry for bit if this is ready for him then."

The next day Tom sat in the launch bay waiting by his shadow fox when Henry came along. "Saw that you removed your command wolf yesterday. What for?"

"Doing some maintenance on it. Right now I've got a computer repainting it in the color scheme of a famous command wolf."

"Really are you a fan of this guy?"

"You could say that." Tom said with an evil grin on his face.

Henry produced a fork, "I know how to use this thing. Like everyone in the base I am a practitioner of fork-fu. And the only one better at it than me in the base is Sylvia."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tom shouted as he ran away real, _real, _fast.

Henry simply enjoyed his victory and remembered to hold this over everyone's head whenever he could. Then he walked across the ship to the blade liger launch spot. It was a pretty long walk. On the way Henry was 'conveniently' at the door when the blitz team arrived. More likely Tom reminded him that he was god and master of the ship and had more ways to torture his crew than someone with a fork. "Hello there." Henry said as pleasantly as he could. Lena walked over to him.

"Hand it over." She said flatly.

"What?" Henry asked puzzled.

"The fork. Bit's being an ass as of late and I need to borrow the fork of the fork-fu master." Henry stared confused as to how Lena knew all this but gave her the fork nonetheless. "DIE BIT CLOUD!" Lena shouted as she chased bit everywhere.

"Damn she's well on her way." Henry muttered as he walked along the path to his blade liger. He was accompanied by the remainder of the blitz team not intent on murdering, or getting murdered, with a fork.

"So who are you going to have fight who?" Toros asked Henry.

"As of now you mean?" Henry asked back.

"That works." Toros replied more confused by that answer than he had figured he would have been.

"I'm gonna fight Leon. And Tom will fight Naomi. The only problem seen with the 'plan' is that in combat between two blade ligers Naomi and Tom both won't know which one to attack. But Tom figures, in his case anyway, he'll just wait for one of us to case function and then will beat up the winner if the judge doesn't announce a victory."

"That's how he's going to decide who to attack!?" Toros exclaimed.

"Yeah that's his style, rather half assed." Henry said as he got into his zoid cockpit. "Now could you guys leave we're going to launch in a bit."

On the way out Jamie noted something about the ship in general. "My that's odd." He started.

"What's odd?" Toros and Brad simultaneously asked.

"Well it's just that much of the hangar has various object not suited for Zoids. Apart from the catapult and I would guess maybe something like half a dozen storage spots that are 'customized' for Zoids all of these seem to be designed to hold something else entirely." Jamie pointed at the one holder they happened to be closest to. "See they're designed for something that isn't as long as a zoid, the actual holding devices aren't even close to a Zoids length!"

Toros and brad looked at this, and then Toros said, "Point duly noted Jaime and I appreciate you for pointing it out to us. But there is one thing you forgot."

"What did I forget?"

"It doesn't matter what these are designed to hold."

"What! Why?"

"Because Tom apparently doesn't have one of those things."

"How do you know?" Jamie asked.

"Because they aren't here."

Brad just laughed at that, "Ouch. I really feel for ya' there Jaime boy. But Doc here's got you beat." Brad walked along occasionally laughing and saying things like, "Never thought Doc would beat Jamie in something like that, but there ya go!" And laughing some more.

Jamie, crestfallen for a moment, quickly recovered enough to count and began his trek back to the bridge to watch the match. Upon arrival bit and Lena, right on cue arrived, bit with several fork caused wounds. Sylvia giggled gave Lena high five and said, "Way to go girl!"

"Actually Henry gave me the fork so give him some credit."

"Well you stabbed bit so you get more than 80 at least."

"Good point." Leena said with a smile.

Then doc shouted, "Get a seat and a buckle cause we're starting the afterburners!"

"The wha?" Bit asked still rather out of it from running and getting stabbed.

"TOO LATE!" Doc then pushed the big red button and then some really big rocket engines activated and the ship went real, real fast.

"But I thought technology this level wasn't available for public use!" Toros said to Doc.

"WE GOT IT SO THERE!" Doc shouted like a maniacal psychopath. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA!!"

"Is he always this crazy?" Jaime asked reddy.

"Yup." Reddy sighed.

"Ah." The whole of the blitz team sighed; they were in a ship piloted by a madman.

At least they were in a ship piloted by a madman with a good sense of direction and excellent ship control. In a mere thirteen minutes they were there. Compared to the hour it would take the hover carrier. Of course the overshot it too with the time it took for them to leave afterburner mode so they actually took an hour in the end. When the ship came to a stop Tom's face came up on the communication screen, "Doc did you use the afterburners specifically when I told you not to."

"Maybe."

"How else can this ship accelerate from 60 to mach 3 in two minutes?" Tom glared at doc.

"Willpower?"

"A-F-T-E-R-B-U-R-N-E-R-S."

"You got me." Doc admitted.

"Good now remember don't use them unless I say, cause if you _really _screwed up we could be late, or dead. Or late and injured. Or late and in the arrival we could have been killed. Or, well you get my point."

"Right sir." Doc muttered pitifully. Then the line closed. "I WILL GET MY DAY WHEN YOU ALLOW ME TO USE THE AFTER BURNERS I SWEAR IT!!"

Tom then opened up the line, "I didn't really close the line, I just stopped video you know right?"

"Damn." Doc sighed. "Launch the shadow fox and blade liger." Doc sighed, reddy and Sylvia launched the Zoids off a catapult with four points for the Zoids claws to be placed.

The two landed to see just Leon. "Crap." Tom muttered. "Naomi's got a sniping point picked out already." Tom looked around; there were several plateaus and a few caves for her to hide out in. "And she's got a fair pick of them to. Great."

Then the catapult could be heard to activate. Mr. Referee shot off it. "This is now an official zoid battlefield. Team ryu versus the Fluegel team. Ready fight!" Mr. Referee brought his hand down in a chopping motion, and then he asked Tom and Henry. "How was that?"

Tom answered first. "Entrance 8 out of ten. Declaration I'll give you a 9.5 for off physical motions with chance of revisions for just being a normal human."

"Personally I'd call it better than a judge capsule on all accounts, congratulations Mr. Referee." Henry said with a thumbs up.

"What are you guys doing?" Leon asked.

"Oh just giving Mr. Referee here a player evaluation of his entrance, he is new on the job and dedicated to improving." Henry said with another thumbs up to Mr. Referee. "By the way good job for being dedicated."

"Why is a human over seeing a zoid match?" Leon asked Tom.

"Are you doubting my ability!?" Mr. Referee shouted. "I'll have you know I've been acting referee for various combat situations for a whole series now. I can guarantee you I am quite competent!"

"Besides," Tom muttered, "He's distracting enough to you guys for me to get sight of your team mate." Tom fired at a small red dot on top of the tallest plateau some ways away from where they were.

"Naomi!" Leon shouted back at her. Then he saw a shadow fox pass him by. "Eat thi-" Leon was cut off by a shot at his rear.

"You think we didn't have some idea of what we were doing?" Henry asked Leon rhetorically as he prepared his blades for combat.

"You got me there, you read us perfectly thus far. I'll enjoy our fight even more that way." Leon did the same. Then the two charged.

Meanwhile Tom was running right at a sniper, also he was moving too fast for his shadow fox to use its smokescreen. "Jesus for putting her on the defensive I can't do a whole lot." Tom muttered as two more sniper shots 'just missed' him. Tom grumbled. "And that suppressing fire is getting annoying." He said to himself as yet another shot came at him, than another right in the path of his starting dodge, but at the last moment Tom jumped in a full loop around and continued forwards. "Okay that was good, but still annoying."

"Damn he's good." Naomi muttered as she fired shot, after shot, after shot, after shot, after ten more shots. "But I'll bet he's either a total killing machine bent on beating me no matter the cost or he's scared shitless and persevering either through the cheers of his teammates or he is being forced to by remote control."

Tom replied, "Are you on drugs, not only did you just say that crack addled idea but you said in on the open channel. But to answer your question I'm just the guy who's that good."

"No way, I've had about eight people dodge my shots, but only a few have dodged them more than once. None more than four times, you just dodged eight."

Tom stopped, "Look the fact is–AH!" Naomi fired off another shot at Tom who actually blasted it away with several of his own that also momentarily peppered Naomi. "Jerk, you were trying to make me stop!" Tom shouted as he came upon the rocky portion of his trip up where sniping would be the hardest for Naomi, and travel up the hardest for Tom. "Try and catch me here!" Tom shouted as he jumped on top of massive several ton boulders almost twice as tall as his shadow fox and at the center of it all activated his smoke screen and jumped in.

"_Not bad" _Naomi thought, "_But I've got thermal vision for my sniper scope AND a 3-D map that will overlay the heat image with your position on the map!_" Assuming Tom to be closer to Naomi than before she brought the rifle up the hill a hair and began scanning. She was in a horrid error.

At the base of the massive rock field Tom hid in wait as he had gun aimed at Naomi through the smoke with his own Infra-red camera, as well as combined vision through 8 other various sensors. "_Looks like she fell for the bait REAL easily. She's aiming further uphill. I told them this strategy was too dumb not to work!_" Tom thought as he began blasting her with every shot he could.

"JESUS THE GUY WAS DOWNHILL WHAT AN IDIOT!" Naomi shouted as she came under a hail of fire and redirected her gun.

"How dumb am I if I was able to get in an attack and evade your scope entirely." Naomi brought the scope exactly where Tom had fired from with a relatively wide field of vision for a sniper scope and saw no trace of Tom. "Guess what, I got infra red masking devices and radar absorbing technology and ultrasonic proof tech." Naomi tried to track him via radio signal but was stopped when Tom said, "Don't try and triangulate the radio, I transmit from 12 locations at a minimum."

"Jesus you're too much." Naomi muttered. "So much I wish I could hit your ass with a finely placed sniper round and maybe even kill you."

"No luck." Tom shouted from behind Naomi.

"THE HELL!" Naomi said as she began to move to the standard cockpit. When she did she saw the shadow fox standing there and saw it barrel starting to turn. "I really don't like you." Naomi said flatly.

"Your opinion bothers be not in the least."

"Now I hate you."

"Meh I've had tougher people hate me."

"No, you see the problem is you've got a sniper who hates you and snipers will track you down and hunt you. The effect through psychological warfare will be horrid."

The barrel on the shadow fox stopped turning. "Really I've had people a lot more scarier than you want my ass dead."

"FOOLED YOU!" Naomi said as she opened up her standard gun sniper arsenal on Tom and about 100 yards.

"NOT AGAIN DAMNIT!" Tom then began to use many, many swear words as he ran at Naomi and then jumped. "Strike laser claw!" The shadow fox's claws glowed gold and cut Naomi's right arm off. "HA!" Tom shouted.

"You're a looser." Naomi said via radio.

"CAN'T YOU STOP WITH THE RADIO DISTRACTIONS ALDEADY!?" Tom shouted, then Naomi fired her missiles. "CRAP!" Tom shouted as he ran past Naomi once again to her front, again, but this time he fired a net at her and made her gun sniper useless and completely immobile. "HA WHO'S GOT THE LAST WORD NOW!"

"AFTERBURNER AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Doc came across the public channel saying.

Naomi and Tom looked at the Team ryu ship. "He did." They both sighed.

"Ok I've got to go watch to red blade ligers duel to the death. Since you're useless I advise you admit to having a command system failure or my gatling gun will be used."

"Fine you win." Naomi pushed a button and her zoid transmitted a surrender signal to the referee.

By the battle site of the two red blade ligers Mr. Referee got this and announced, "Naomi Fluegel is out of the battle on account of surrender."

Leon sighed, that meant two Zoids for him to fight. Henry sighed a sigh of relief. He was really getting tired of this fight, he may have to go to 100 to beat Leon. Then as the two just stared each other down Tom could be heard saying (via public channel) "Oh crap. Who's Henry?"

Henry looked at Tom with the worst death glare ever in his eye. "I AM YOU BASTARD! SHOOT THE OTHER GUY!"

Tom looked at Henry then he moved the shadow fox slightly out of the way of the battle. "Hell I'll just watch it'll be more fun."

"MORE FUN!" Henry said enraged beyond belief. "When we get back to the ship I'm going fork-fu on your ass!"

Tom shrugged, "I now know a counter to fork-fu. You can try but your head will regret the failure."

"Stop ignoring me!" Leon shouted as he charged at Henry.

"NOT NOW!" Henry said back as his blades came out went forwards, his shield went up and his boosters on. Upon impact with Leon's attack of the same style Henry fired his blade lasers and his underbelly cannon as well. Then once a few moments had passed his blades began to glow and vibrate. Then an energy sword extended out of the blade and stopped centimeters short of the cockpit. "Surrender or die." Henry said flatly.

"I surrender." Leon sighed out. "You win."

"I KILL YOU NOW!" Henry shouted as he got out of his zoid.

Tom just ran the shadow fox to the ship. "Deal with the winning the match thing and then you can try." He laughed.

"Um well with that, THE WINNER IS TEAM RYU!" Mr. Referee motioned towards Henry's blade liger. "And well, that's it. See you later!" He said running off.

"What a strange man." Henry muttered. "But anyways we won. And we weren't going to stab Leena with forks. So if you want to kill a team mate either kill the man in the shadow fox or our team's old crazy scientist, Doc."

"What?" Leon asked confused.

"I mean that literally. Every word. Do not read a meaning into anything I'm saying now or before. I speak literally." Henry said. "Now I'm leaving." And he left. "See I speak literally."

"Ok that's weird. And I mean they're weirder psychopaths than the blitz team." Leon sighed. "What nut jobs."

Meanwhile in the ship hangar the epic showdown between fork-fu and Thomas began. "I will beat you with fork-fu!"

Tom stood still at one spot 30 feet away from Henry. "I will win for I have discovered a secret martial art form that will defeat you."

"What can beat fork-fu!" Henry said as he ran at Tom with several forks held like shuriken. He then threw them at Tom, somewhat like a shuriken. Tom disappeared.

"Ti Kwan Leep." Tom said as he appeared behind Henry. "Boot to the head." Tom then had his foot impact Henry plain in the head. "I invented the style. For beating fools who think they can beat me."

"Try it again, I wasn't ready."

"Boot to the head."

"Ok one more time."

"Boot to the head." Tom knocked Henry to the ground.

"I'll just lie here then." He said as he did just that.

"You failed to grasp the principle of ti-Kwan-leep." Tom muttered. "That is why you lost."

Then everyone came into the hangar to see Henry bloody and beaten at Tom's feet. Sylvia ran over to him and buried him in his chest very well. Reddy walked over to Tom and asked, "Ti Kwan Leep?"

"Yes."

"OH YEAH THAT IS AWESOME!!" Reddy said with joy.

The blitz team, now having watched three matches of team Ryu, still had learned nothing about the team structure. Other than it was perhaps one of the most chaotic things of all time. However they were enjoying watching them fight against their former foes and they were working on ways for them to fight more people who they had had bad relations with in the past.

-End-

So I end with plotting, why should you care?

Personally I'm more interested in the use of shuriken as a singular or plural and the need of an 'a' before it. I just threw it in for clarification because English is weird.

I also know I used the wrong spelling for Jaime somewhere. Sorry bout that.


End file.
